Lets just say that 2010 was not my year....until, this December. At the end of the month I received an email from an organization I had been supporting for a few years now with a list of trips they were offering to members. One was a trip to Ethiopia for one month, along with other here and there two week span trips.
It kept pressing on my mind and heart to where I ended up praying about it with the intention of figuring out whether God was calling me to go or not. I kept it to myself for awhile.... talking to God saying...
"Lord! give me some sort of sign!..
Please just tell me what to do!..
I want to hear your voice!...
I don't have the money to do this!..
There is an urge inside of me to apply and go!...
I'm living month to month, how am I possibly going to do this!...
I just want to love on others Lord...
I just want to be a servant to Your beautiful plan...
Help me find the faith to take that leap!"
Months, maybe even a couple of years before, I had been thinking about joining the Peace Corps. I had filled out two applications but never sent them in, mainly for the fact that I just didn't have a peace about it and it was a little unsettling. I had also talked to a few people about it and got some advice... it sounded a little Bear Grylis style. I didn't want to go over to some country I've never been to and try to help their people without some sort of plan of action!... or a knowledge of what the true problems they had or their true needs!
I won't go into to much detail on that because that is beside the point.
So I prayed.
and waited...
I wanted to keep it to myself for awhile because I didn't want it to be something that I mentioned to everyone and then never end up doing it.
Keeping it to myself made it more real to me.
After awhile I brought it up nonchalantly to a couple of my friends who would have had some wise input and told them a little about the organization and trip.
They both of course told me are you "kidding me?! GO!"
I told them that a big part of it (my doubts about going) was the money.... I didn't know how I was going to raise $3,750 to go, plus my rent bill for that month away. Susan told me that "If this is God's plan, money is not going to stop Him from sending you out there, He will find it and raise it for you."
She's right.
Why do I doubt the power of God sometimes when I know He has the power to do anything?! He heals people physically and emotionally so why would money ever stop Him?
I'm sure God laughs at the silliness of moneys power on people... yet he does so much good with it by using it. Just another example of how God uses some of the bad things in life for good. Not that money it's self is bad... but, ehh you know what I mean.
As I remember, before I even got this email, there was a man I was sitting next to in church in which I felt this presence of God wanting to say something to me through him.... It was really strange!
Finally after the sermon was over and after Steve said the peace (everybody awkwardly looks around looking for there "God's peace" first victim, sometimes that whole things seems just silly to me, and then there are times where it is really nice!) the man turns to me says "God's Peace, are you a missionary?"
"What?! uuuuh no?"
"Well why not? you should go be a missionary!"
"umm, ok." thinking to myself.... "this guy is a kook, what the heck?... but that was an intriguing comment non the less...hmm, God!, I knew and felt this guy was going to say something weird to me. What are you wanting me to get out of that?"
It was a somewhat uncomfortable experience but something inside of me just went on talking to him about missions and stuff.... he told me about some things he's been involved in, then gave me the web address for one that sounded interesting to me.
I mentioned that weird encounter with a friend of mine who said "Yeah, that guy is really weird, he came up to (so and so) and said something similar." So, I am glad I told her. Why am I glad? To keep things in check (whatever that means). I now truly believe that this man was just trying to recruit people for mission trips that where being offer through and outside of the church. But something about that whole encounter raised some curiosity in me (about something I had been thinking about for awhile already).
After I got home from church I immediately looked up that website he wrote down for me. I can't remember the name of it, but it sounded pretty interesting but didn't really motivate me to look or think any further into it and just left it at that.
Until....
a few weeks later, when I got this email.
To be continued.
Until....
a few weeks later, when I got this email.
To be continued.
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